Freak Out, Faith Out

Freaked out! That’s how and what I am. With only a month and a few days left, I can’t believe how many wedding related problems are starting to surface. There’s this invitation boo-boo (which I’m totally responsible for), a change in the church program.

I prayed for smooth wedding preparations but why is everything turning out to be  a disaster?? That’s why one day I’m really sorry for my fiance he received the tough end of my sour mood. I freaked out and I couldn’t help but rant about my shortcomings, how I wasn’t ready for this, that I couldn’t do a job right. The mistake I made was so minor among the other things I’m doing, I couldn’t believe how I missed it and overlooked that detail. I thought of myself as already very particular to detail and yet there it went. I missed out on a very crucial one.

I’m just so glad that my fiance is a godly man and he knows how to guide me and lead me as God would want him to. and he also never loses patience with my foul mood too. He talked me out of my frustration even if he was tired and even at 1am in the morning.

As I tried to make sense of the things going on, God spoke to me in several ways. Through Social networking, through my friend from Japan, through my daily devotion, and of course through my fiance.

 All of them talked about faith or the lack of it. The lack of distrust from God. He showed me that as I freak out, my faith is out. I prayed that God would make the preparations smooth alright, but I also prayed that He would be glorified in all these preparations, and especially in the wedding. That all of these will lead back to Him.

In my devotion, it talked about Rahab, the prostitute in Jericho who took into her wing 2 Israelite spies. Though she may be disloyal to her countrymen, she knew about the powerful and mighty God of Abraham and she trusted the Israelites and their God even though she has not witnessed yet the glory of God.

Faith was all she had, and faith turned out to be all she needed.

My friend from Japan told me, that if you focus too much on the the wedding preparations or the worries, it would be the work of human hands.

But if you lift it up, surrender it to God and entrust that everything may not be perfect, but everything is so that He will be glorified, then everything will be alright. It may not be smooth but God is mighty I need to trust that all these are for His glory.

The wedding project is just a test for more that will come. All these are minor compared to what lies ahead, when we live together already despite our many differences and backgrounds, when we finally have our children, what more! will our arguments be like.

But again despite the stress, this isn’t the problem. Rather, the problem is my heart which I sincerely pray that God would change, to be the complete helper to my husband.

All these things I know is possible because I know that Christ lives in me.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me

In all these, I take comfort that troubles are normal, they are a part of this world, but I know that with all these troubles that came and will come, I need to take heart, my Savior lives and He has overcome the world.

John 16:33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

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