Why do you love me? I would often ask my ex-boyfriend then [who is now my husband]. Jason would often answer, I love you just because.
I would sulk in all my immaturity and childishness then and say, how can you not identify what it is? I’d feign humility and enumerate that I could list all the things that I love about him. The conversation would upset me because I wasn’t able to receive a satisfying reply.
Until one day in my prodding he was forced to tell me what it was. I wasn’t convinced and I knew it was just out of my prodding. The motive then was to find out what he truly loves about me, and then what? What purpose does it have but to please my selfish self? It is a trick question in which I’ve fallen in my own trap.
Yesterday when we attended the CCF Service, this line was brought up by the speaker Paul Tanchi. “I love you just because… (I love you)” this is how God’s heart is for us.
No matter what you do, no matter who you are, it’s not about you but about my unconditional love for you regardless of, in spite of, despite of. I love you because I love you.
When we ask this of our partner and he gives us a reply, “I love you because you’re beautiful, or I love you because you’re smart, because you’re slender etc.” This would become a source of insecurity for us. We will cling on to those characteristics because we know that we are loved just because of those traits and we would become desperate once we lose those.
But God’s assurance and security is that He loves us just because. It’s not about us but about His infinite and perfect love for us.
In Romans 5:8, God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
That’s how much He loves us.
I’m seeing everyday and through time how my husband has loved me despite and in spite of – despite of who I am, and my many absurd tests of his intentions and love. And truly what he said then stands and I am learning much from him as God is leading him to teach me. To never quantify and qualify but draw from God’s perfect and infinite love to be able to love. To watch and catch myself every time I become conditional in loving.
To love just because. “There is no reason needed in loving.”