Is it forgivable to be unkind and ungentle when you’re tired? Do I only become a wife and particularly a helpmate to my husband when it is convenient to me?
One Friday, Jason and I attended a whole day seminar.
Both of us were spent from the whole day’s activities and when we got home, we didn’t have the comfort of a hot plate dinner on our table. I was exhausted that I cooked a quick (half-hearted) meal for Jason.
I was expecting him to do the dishes since I was the one who cooked but when he didn’t offer, I got frustrated, disappointed and angry inside. I frowned and got grumpy especially when I saw him already relaxing after having his dinner. When I saw the dirty dishes on the sink, it aggravated the frustration inside me.
I then kept quiet the whole evening creating a hostile environment and making sure he felt my frustration and anger. I planned to leave the dirty pile of dishes in the sink until morning so he can see it and be compelled to wash the dishes he used.
But in that moment while I was angry and silent, these verses were impressed in my heart,
Galatians 2:20 …It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me…
and 2 Corinthians 5:17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
When these verses came to me, hard as it is, I was convicted to stand up and fulfill my role as a wife and a homemaker. I was battling my old self but the verses gave me strength that it is not I who live anymore but Christ who lives in me. I am now a new person and a new creation.
I am a wife to my husband. Next to God, he is my priority and I need to set myself aside to show him that he is. Praise God for impressing it in my heart. It was tough eating humble pie that as I left those dishes behind for him to see, I eventually stood up to face them that same night after I showed that I wasn’t going to budge to clean it.
As I washed those dishes it reminded me of my role to be in charge of keeping the house in order. Though doing the chores may sound inconvenient, it is convenient to my role to turn our house into a home. Our home is now my responsibility and part of my contribution to our marriage and partnership.
After which I said sorry to Jason for having that selfish, childish attitude. I am thankful that he forgave me and he even told me he prayed for me during that time for me to have a change of heart.
Even if I am consumed from the day’s activities, it doesn’t stop me from being a wife, to give my husband the care, encouragement, support and respect he needs. Sometimes I forget the life that I committed to but I praise God that Christ lives and He lives in my heart. To compel me to do the things I wouldn’t normally do. To be loving and kind when I don’t feel like it. To be a helpmate when I don’t feel helpful.. and that involves being a wife at all times, and holding up my end of the deal of the partnership I committed to.